Dedicated to all Cuban families and families around the world. Family disintegration is a natural process when children reach adulthood. As parents, we accept this, often with pain, but we do it out of unconditional love, one of the purest forms of love. Our children, driven by their instincts and emotions, leave us in a state of constant worry and sleeplessness, focusing all our attention on them.
When children act on their instincts, profound changes occur in parents. Some abandon deeply rooted ideologies, such as the motto "Patria o muerte" [Homeland or death], imposed by politicians to favor collective interests over individual ones. Others have always preferred the concept of "Patria y Vida" [Homeland and Life]. Regardless, our children leave us in a sea of uncertainties. Many opt for a "Life even without a homeland".
What happens when our children emigrate? They go to countries big or small, better or worse, but always different. They usually settle where they find their first job, adapting to new routines and customs. Unlike the locals, immigrants value the importance of having proper documentation and savings for possible emergencies. Over time, the prioritization of parents in their lives diminishes as they focus on adapting to their new environment.
My message for these children is as follows: I consider the priority given to parents in life to be essential. If my partner does not place them in a priority place, they would not be suitable for me. In a country with deep-rooted customs, I strive to bring my parents, befriending influential people who can help me. In a large country, with family reunification policies, I would do everything possible to bring my parents close to me.
Our children should know that no one loves them more than us, their parents. If there are opportunities in their new place, we want to be there to demonstrate that, under different conditions, we can achieve more. It is important that children understand that they are not good children, nor good human beings, if they do not make the utmost effort for their parents. There are those who will always be devoted children, remaining close to their parents, faithful to the roots of a house built by ancestors with less education but greater opportunities.
Children must understand that staying close to their parents is not just a matter of convenience or economy. Throughout life, parents have often sacrificed their well-being for their children, following a logic of comfort and security. Now, it is time for the children to recognize this sacrifice and not deceive themselves or their parents, pretending that everything is fine when it is not. The reality is that parents will never be completely well if they are far from their children, both physically and emotionally.
It is essential that children realize that being a good child goes beyond being a good spouse, parent, or employee. It is not enough to show superficial consideration for parents; one must act, strive to the utmost within personal possibilities to ensure their well-being. This often involves moving heaven and earth to ensure that parents are safe and cared for.
On the other hand, there are those children who, regardless of the circumstances, choose to remain by their parents' side. These children stay rooted in traditions and the family home, which was built with effort by previous generations. These children recognize the value of family proximity and the importance of preserving those ties, even if it means giving up certain personal opportunities or comforts.
In conclusion, the relationship between parents and children is a complex dynamic, especially in the context of emigration. Children must always remember the love and sacrifices of their parents and strive to maintain strong family ties, regardless of distance or circumstances. Parents, in turn, must be honest about their needs and desires, fostering open and sincere communication with their children. Only in this way, through mutual understanding and shared effort, can the essence of the family be maintained, no matter where its members are.
In this process of adapting to new realities, both parents and children must recognize that physical distance does not have to mean emotional or spiritual disconnection. Current technology offers multiple ways to stay in touch, reducing the barriers of distance. However, virtual communication does not replace physical presence and emotional support that can only be offered by being close.
It is crucial for children to understand that, although their lives may now be in a different place, their roots and family history remain an integral part of who they are. Ignoring this connection or minimizing its importance can lead to an emotional void that is difficult to fill with professional or material success.
On the other hand, parents must learn to balance their desire to be close to their children with respect for their decisions and independence. Parents should avoid imposing a sense of guilt or excessive responsibility on their children for having chosen a different path. At the same time, it is healthy for parents to seek their own well-being and happiness, even if this means accepting the physical separation from their children.
Ultimately, family love should be a haven of mutual support, respect, and understanding. Parents and children must work together to find a balance between maintaining their roots and traditions and accepting the new realities and opportunities that each one faces. The true strength of the family lies in its ability to adapt and support each other, regardless of the circumstances.
This message is a reminder that, although the paths of life may take us in different directions, family ties, nurtured with love, respect, and understanding, can overcome any distance and challenge. The family is not only a blood nexus but also an emotional bond that is nourished and strengthened over time and shared experiences, both in closeness and distance.
When facing emigration, it is essential for children to remember that their parents, who gave them life and raised them, deserve consideration and care. This care is not limited to material or financial assistance; it extends to affection, attention, and dedicated time. Often, what parents value most is simply knowing that their children are well and that they still form an important part of their lives.
For parents, it is important to find a balance between the desire to be with their children and the understanding that they have their own lives and challenges. This may mean accepting physical distance while maintaining a strong emotional connection. It also involves seeking happiness and personal fulfillment beyond the relationship with their children, finding new activities and communities that provide support and enrichment.
Children, for their part, must be aware that their parents are not eternal. Time is precious, and every moment shared, whether in person or through digital media, is invaluable. They must strive to include their parents in their lives, sharing achievements, dreams, and even challenges. This inclusion demonstrates recognition and gratitude for everything their parents have done for them.
Furthermore, it is essential for both parents and children to develop open and honest communication. Talking about feelings, expectations, and concerns can help avoid misunderstandings and strengthen the relationship. This communication must be based on respect and empathy, recognizing that, although life experiences may be different, love and family bonds remain constant.
In conclusion, emigration presents unique challenges for family relationships, but also offers opportunities to strengthen those ties. The key is to maintain communication, share experiences and emotions, and always remember that the family, no matter where each of its members is, is a fundamental pillar in our lives. Family ties, nurtured with love and understanding, can transcend any barrier of distance and become an inexhaustible source of strength and support.
Finally, it is essential to recognize that each family and each emigration situation is unique. There is no single correct way to handle distance or cultural differences. Each family must find its own path, respecting the individualities of each member and the circumstances that surround them.Finally, it is essential to recognize that each family and each emigration situation is unique. There is no single correct way to handle distance or cultural differences.
In this process, both parents and children can learn a lot from each other. Children can teach their parents about the new cultures and experiences they are living, while parents can offer wisdom and perspective based on their own life. This exchange of knowledge and experiences enriches the relationship and helps keep it alive and dynamic.
Furthermore, it is important for families to celebrate their roots and traditions, keeping alive the customs and values that are dear to them. This can include celebrating traditional festivities, preparing typical meals, or simply sharing stories and memories. These practices help maintain a sense of continuity and belonging, which is especially valuable in times of change and adaptation.
Parents should also encourage their children to explore and embrace their new life, recognizing that adapting to a new culture does not mean losing one's own. Similarly, children should strive to stay connected to their cultural heritage, sharing it with their new communities and, if they have them, with their own children.
In summary, the relationship between parents and children in the context of emigration is a continuous journey of learning, adaptation, and love. It requires effort, understanding, and, above all, open and sincere communication. Although the challenges are undeniable, so are the opportunities for growth and strengthening of family ties. Let us always remember that, regardless of distances or differences, family love is a bond that endures and strengthens over time, serving as a beacon of guidance and support on the journey of life.In summary, the relationship between parents and children.
Original thought by me, Jose Moya, without special editing: "This topic is dedicated to Cuban families and families from all over the world. Families disintegrate when their children reach adulthood, we parents are aware of it and although it hurts us to recognize it, we accept it for something I consider unconditional love, for me it is one of the true loves. Our children do not measure consequences and give free rein to their instincts and emotions, leaving us devoid of all security, without tranquility, without being able to sleep, without thinking about ourselves because they have all our attention. When our children follow their instincts, great changes happen in us, parents stop having that ideology to which they clung fervently, blindly shouting “Patria o muerte” for convenience or conviction, many followed the refrain that politicians implanted in us that limit your possibilities as an individual and make you think collectively to more easily sacrifice us and “force” us to take care of their interests, not ours. Other parents always considered better “Patria y Vida”, children do not discriminate between them and also leave them the trail of uncertainties, many of our children “Life even without a homeland”. Where do our children go when their destination is to go outside the country? To larger, smaller, better, worse countries, many adjectives can be added but they all have a common denominator, they are different, because they had not known them, they are different in everything they had known. The probabilities that they stay where they find their first job are many, as we all beings of habits do, we locate a place to sleep, clean ourselves, store things and ourselves, we start to repeat other routines and make them habits, if we imitate the native of the place, then it is forever. Generally we do not imitate them, we continue thinking about the traumas that we thought we left behind, but they still accompany us, unlike the native of each country, we recognize that having documents in order, is essential, and having some savings also to be the first to leave at any opportunity. In short, the possibility that they place their parents on their list of preferences is less every day that passes, because many perceive that they have to take care first of understanding life in another environment. And here goes my message for all those children of both genders, first I define some concepts that fortunately I had, if in a similar situation that I expose, my partner does not place his parents in the first line of priorities, probably he is not a good partner and will never be my partner, much less the mothers of my children. If it is a small country with deep-rooted customs, I dedicate myself to going to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, I make friends with the secretaries, so that they guide me where I have to go to bring my parents if they stayed in the situations I explained before. If it is a large country that constantly for its own conveniences offers Parole for family reunification, not a day will pass without getting whatever it is, to reunite my parents close to me that I consider that I must be a good son. Our children have to know that no one loves them more than ourselves, that I want to be by their side before their hair falls out in round patches due to allergies, to worries called stress, that if there are possibilities in that new place, the parents we also want to be there to show that under different conditions we could do much more. Our children have to know... "That although it is true that staying in our places of habits is more convenient and economical", it is also true that for similar conveniences we kept them there and we already know the consequences of following agreements for comforts. Parents must stop lying to themselves and lying to their children that everything is fine on their side, that they only worry about themselves, it is not reality, they are not well they never were and they never will be while their navel and their mind are distant from them. Children should know that they are not good children, probably good spouses, parents, employees, nor human beings if they consider that it is only their time and they simulate consideration for their parents without first moving heaven and earth where their capacity allowed them to reach. There are those who will never stop being children and will always be by their parents' side and will remain rooted in a house that someone from their ancestors was able to build with less studies but with greater opportunities."